Think back to those heady days a few years ago when the world was paranoid of a Polish invasion. Yep, many a newspaper was quick to tell us more about this country, once full of nothing but thieving, begging, benefit cheats intent on ruining Britain with their sneaky, bogus asylum seeking ways carefully hidden in completely legal immigrations and full-time employment. Britain didn't get Great with hardworking immigrants I tell you. Except maybe the Jamacians. Or the Chinese. Probably the Indians too. And the Eastern Europeans. And, well, everyone else who comes here and works harder than we do. But we don't want their kind here!

However, whilst foreigners are obviously bad and evil and unwanted here, we should be a little worried that Poland is more desirable to these undesirables. Yes, the Poles are going home damn their eyes! Where will we find a decent plumber now? Or programmer? Or other jobs that begin with P? Well actually you can pick any letter really but you won't get the alliterative fun of a Polish Plumber I tell you!

So seriously, and yes I know it's rare, the Poles are returning home because they can have a higher standard of life in a world many here still think is stuck in the Eastern Bloc. So just to be clear about the dreaded Polish Invasion:

• Britain didn't collapse
• The foreigners are going home just as every study of migrant workers has suggested they would
• Poland managed to improve it's economy through a dynamic and commited workforce
• While our economy sunk lower as it desperately tried to make a quick buck off of any Americans bouncing around the poverty line.

What can we conclude from this? The tabloids are frequently wrong, scaremongering is silly, and Polish society will have great fun with tabloid headlines warning of bogus asylum seeking Brits trying to rape their economy. Okay, the last one may rely on them having a similar sense of humour to me but I'm hopeful.