After years of security experts telling us that security through obscurity was generally a bad idea, leading security firm Sophos have recommended we all switch to Macs because they're so obscure they must be secure!

Yes folks, go against years of advice and hide in a forest of everyone else doing exactly the same. Just think, if we all get Macs none of us will ever have a security problem because the nasty people will all be focusing on Windows since it's the most popular system despite nobody still using it. This is the secret! Once I'm on a Mac there's absolutely no change I'll give my bank details to the phishermen and I'll never put my credit card details on an unencrypted connection. In fact Macs security goes even further - more Windows users contract cancer every year than Mac users! Face it, if you use Windows you're just playing Russian Roulette with your life.

Unfortunately Macs just don't feel safe enough to me. That's why I'm switching to something even more obscure - an abacus! It's been decades since an abacus user suffered anything nastier than a mild sniffle.